I had been arranging books on shelves. It was nearly midnight when I finally finished. Then we climbed into the car, and on an impulse, drove to the nearest convenience store. There was a hint of curdled milk in the air. My energy had decreased to zero as we amplified the hollowness of our lives.
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Mental illness has given me a clarity of understanding. She had suggested that in order for me to be still here, there must be some kind of survival advantage to it. If we were wholly bad, I’ve argued, natural selection would have seen us off long ago. But I know, in some cases, the advantage is in exploring the free space around ourselves in a frock coat and dark trousers.
My interest in the common good is grounded in a desire for more. To promote social justice, sustainability, and happy lives I need more. As simple as that. This is something I live with every day. Once the mist drew back, many years ago, I realized for an instant that my life was stained with salt water and brandy. But each year a few more bricks are pried loose.
My heart continues to harden at an alarming rate - and the seas continue to rise. My feelings are not some distant dilemma. Oh, to have the resolve of the besieged! My life is solid, but the problem is urgent. “Where do you get your information from?” she asked.
We are different creatures at night. There are some times of day for each person to form a sort of pavilion. Also, the core temperature and gene expression of each of us can haunt the coasts at night. Moreover, our personalities are rhythmic, and our singing range may have limits. It makes for a major strategic advancement.
Oh my. She discusses what makes a crime, and why. I think the earthquake must have a problem with the population of Mexico. And, I wonder aloud, whether there can be a razor-back landscape in the old town bus. Meanwhile, she scrapes away at the mystery of crime in the city, and throws darts at urban tree trunks.
My dog doesn’t eat everything. And, I don’t remember ever giving him food. At first, I thought it might be a memory thing. But this month I hung beads around my neck, and it seemed clear that sound itself became blurred and mingled with the hushing of my breath.
Yeah, absolutely. Definitely. I think offering reduced rates for fortune-telling is more pug than pig. When you fixate on somebody’s future it might make butterflies spin in brevity and grace. And if you win the love of that person first, then all of your questions will be swept down the long straight road to oblivion, or the blade of a knife.
I’ve been watching the way she moves. I sometimes fail to do anything else, but I think there’s good reason that I’m pausing from time to time. After all, she told me that the inside of her mouth is paved with clean sea-pebbles and criss-crossed with gold and silver whiskers.
Recently I started reading other people’s email. This appealed to my upper middle class liberal sensibilities. How dare I hack into other accounts? In the West, we drink our Starbucks and withhold judgement on ourselves. Should I not do follow my heritage? It hardly marks the sea, yet I could be mistaken.
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April 2018
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